eating my hair and

woke to find i'd been studying anatomical charts in my sleep

want to be see-thru so i can watch myself digest food

which is an endless spectacle and which will ruin me

due to

only eating what is digested most spectacularly

which is what puts up the most fight to being digested

which if not the healthiest diet is the unhealthiest of all diets

will i deliberately induce 'pathological' gastrointestinal states for sport

want to remove my intestines and keep them in an aquarium on a shelf by my bed, feeding them whatever such as ice cubes, old papers i spilled coffee on, and laundry detergent

and somehow this will be good

want to remove my lungs and drag them like kites thirty feet over my head thru cleanest air, shit talking everything but only birds can hear

want my eyes to be moons orbiting me until in 'freak accident' they collide cornea to cornea and i lose my mind in subsequent 'out-of-control' feedback loop

also want my penis to occasionally 'vanish' and reappear briefly in various places within a ten foot radius

but above all want to explode and for each shred of meat to inherit full and independent sentience and want the meats to found a research laboratory in my apartment and work very hard for years on problem of how to reconstitute me but ultimately decide i'm not worth it

then the meats leave the laboratory and are eaten by birds and feral cats

not sure where i'm going with this, i think what i'm really trying to say is i want all my bones to be one gigantic bone like a fruit pit however that is possible